Once again I found myself sitting in a bar on a Friday night, this time embibing on the drink de jur for the night, Stoli O and Tonic. This wasn’t my normal akaRaff night of boozin and lollygagging, but a private function brought me to a place from my early years called the Wonder Bar in Allston, MA. I won’t get into the details of the scene, cause this is not another Bar Review forum. There was something else a bit more magical that developed right before my eyes.

A couple of hours into the festivities, everyone is feeling a bit looser (akaDrunk) and the DJ is pumping a flow of Thievery Corporation meets Will Smith-esq tracks which gets the place moving. The next thing I know, these 3 dudes show up out of no where as if they were sent down by the god of metro-sexualism himself, Ryan Seacrest. They had it all; the freshly pressed jeans, button down untucked, matching belt and shoes (yes this is something that can be tough for the rest of us), and of course the perfectly quaffed hair that could have possibly been held firm with a dollop of crisco. In any event, these 3 lads found a corner for themselves and began to warm up their dance moves. My lady friend and I watched them getting limber, throwing around a few spins, quick footwork and then the occasion robot and finishing with the man to man transition tap. (You know that one, when one finishes a move and taps the other one on the shoulder as a bizarre way of saying “it’s your turn to get down brother”). It was hilarious. Lady friend figured they were gay, cause based on her experience that is how the dudes in the gay clubs dance. I simple said “huh” and figured that was my cue to get another drink at the bizar.

In the mean time, the boyz proceeded to quickly take over the dance floor. But this time they said “fuck those stinking warm up moves” and they decided to roll the dice with the filthy bar room floor and rip out some back spins, broncos, and even my all time favorite the worm. My emotions were torn. On one hand I hated these guys cause they were showing me up in front of my lady, making it very clear that my normal goto moves “The Sprinkler”, “The Crab”, “The Air Leg Guitar”, and “The Start The Lawnmower” where just ancient throwbacks to a childhood of loneliness and far too many Danny Terrio Dance Fever outtakes. On the other hand, these guys were freakin good. Soon enough there were other’s coming out of the now full circle around the dance floor throwing down their moves. I am not sure if it was the success of Napolean Dynamite with the classic closing dance scene that has kicked breakdanciing back in to gear, but what I realized is that these bastards were on to something, and that I just may not be too old to hop on this bandwagon once and for all.

So today I decided I wasn’t too old. I went in search of some on-line breakdance lessons. It isn’t as hard as I thought. I have been doing the Jackhammer for the past hour with some classic Grand Master Flash and The Furious Five blasting in my living room.I offer a preemptive “Tuchet” to those predictable nay-sayers. Meet me in the park at 5pm cause I will be burning holes in the concrete with my huge noggin headspins.

Enjoy.

ps. That first picture is actually one of the 3 metro-sexuals in action.